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More images following the writing
There is something so inherent in this world that protects us from external influences that we do not need.
It is inherent for human beings to laugh. and it is inherent for human beings to fight. Why do we build such polar stigmas around these two acts, if when we experience them outside the context of time, as present human beings, we find in those moments that they are made of the same basic energy-release.
When one is completely present with an inherent, sacred respect for life, acts with violent or erratically joyful undertones do not kill nor prescribe the future, rather they present opportunity for energetic renewal.
This energy that keeps us present enough to balance the forces of destruction and creation is the same energy that protects us from those external influences.
The kids that live and play in the neighborhood i reside in in Denver channel this charge and are able to exist fully amongst an environment that has been otherwise categorized as dilapidated.
But I think maybe this is their kingdom, and they aren't aloof to it as exactly how it is. They just see the textures as backdrop for their adventures and those little cardboard tubes I found them with as a way to see me--themselves on the other side of the lens. At least that's what they told me it was about when they were peering vigorously through the tube pressed up against the unfiltered glass and I asked them if that was why they were doing it. They nodded vigorously and pressed their eyes back up to the tube. They coulda been fronting.
So within the first thirty seconds of seeing those kids with those tubes, I remembered the humble beginnings of this little project I had articulated in some half-assed way...Something about the energies of fighting and laughing presenting themselves as blatantly as shadows and highlights. So I slyly asked those kids--"Hey, have you guys ever sword faught?" Immediately I stopped myself in my tracks with a vigorous judgement about teaching kids violence. But I combated that judgement. I told myself that if realized that if they found themselves hurting one another, I could use it as an opportunity to educate them as about handling vigorous energy gracefully-as a good coach would do, and not the violence of backalley-matress-dropping cardboard tube-fighting--Is anything really all that it is?
As a photographer, I completely reject the need to record exactly what is happening when you are not a part of it. We cannot avoid our own subjectivity. We are a part of this world, whethere we like it or not. If we are merely recording here for something else there, it is impossible for us to have any impact because we are not really present-anywhere! Even rockstars need homes. This world is a complete organism, and unduely sever ourselves from that organism is our biggest wrong. What are we trying to prove in this lifetime that it is so important to piggyback solely on the coattails of someone else's energy-because when you take and do not give, you are stealing people's hard earned energies. And I would rather give those people the benefit of the doubt that they actually earned those energies because the skillet can't call the kettle black.I think that I pray to the universe for the conviction to uphold many different (often conflicting) truths all at once; salivate for double-entendres.
As artists, aren't we just a bunch of relativists anyways-so if we give power to our negative intentions, they arise; if we give power to our positive intentions, they arise. As photographers, we are not obligated to name, we are only obligated to participate and frame, and if the frame is genuine, it will not confine to only mean one thing.
What does it mean to steal energy? What does it mean to be a selfish photographer? Was it selfish to covertly position events that I knew the inevitable outcome of, even though I saw a fit lesson in it all. What does it mean to be a mover in a relativist, go with the flow world? What does it mean to be a a solipsist, a pure subjectivist in regards to yours and everybody else experience, in a moving world?
Can we really control our own decisions in any other place but the instant. Before your words are coming out if your mouth you have complete potential to change your mind-until the words are said. During the time we speak, our mind is busy forming the syllables to experience live and up-to-the-minute updates from our heart and our guts, right? And after you say the words, they inevitably change the course of life and seem to rudely invalidate anything feeling, right? Unless we somehow magically integrate our gumption with our know-how with our vision. Unless our tongues are valves, ventricles and atriums all at once. Maybe then our decisions beacon more present existence when we are present to begin with.
As a generally perplexed, and often bitter photographer, I do have moments where I experience the intense privlege of simultaneously extending time into omniscience, assigning new meaning to it like a poet would, and participating in the best way that I know how, I realize how incredibly important and honestly good it can be to exist as a photographer. Perhaps this is why I am so drawn to music--it parallels what photography has the potential to be in its best light. The musicians are present in their interactions with one another and themselves within the act of music, just as the photographer is completely involved in her own world that only exist because there are subjects. And please don't lie to yourself, no one is ever oblivious to you and your fat ass fucking lens unless they aren't present and it isn't very fair to photograph someone without them being present because you aren't giving them a chance to interact in the glorious interaction that is about to take place. Unless its some funny ass candid camera shit and you know and love them well.
Sometimes we photograph in solitude just as sometimes musicians play alone. But there is still subject-a building, ourselves especially. But there is stillness and interaction with the present that often trumps the image made (although not always)--in which case, the image still serves the purpose as a humbler to viewers. And the music still comes out of the soul of the sax player, and he knows, and the concrete and blowing leaves and echoes in alleys know that in order to breathe, you have to take in everything that is in the air.
We have many conversations, these days, about the honest-to-god point of any of this art-making business. Mostly us musicians and photographers. Why on earth am I spending my time finishing these images if the best of it was consumed in the incessant photographing and photographer-subject interactions? Because I am obligated to follow the image through. See it to the last branch, where it seamlessly enters back into the universe. By not sharing these images, I am not holding up my part of the bargain--I am photographing to give voice, so I must amplify the sounds of these voices. I am photographing because you asked me to assist you in seeing. If I don't photograph in a way that i interact with the voice of the subject with my own, the sacred moment of photographing crumbles and so too does the image built on the empire/franchise of the moment. (I say franchise instead of further pursuing a long, exhausting conversation into the night about the cliche of the moment). Now look. And the univrse gives me everything I need if I am doing exactly what I need to be doing. I thank the universe further for the internet in order to assist me in this matter.
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So within the first thirty seconds of seeing those kids with those tubes, I remembered the humble beginnings of this little project I had articulated in some half-assed way...Something about the energies of fighting and laughing presenting themselves as blatantly as shadows and highlights. So I slyly asked those kids--"Hey, have you guys ever sword faught?" Immediately I stopped myself in my tracks with a vigorous judgement about teaching kids violence. But I combated that judgement. I told myself that if realized that if they found themselves hurting one another, I could use it as an opportunity to educate them as about handling vigorous energy gracefully-as a good coach would do, and not the violence of backalley-matress-dropping cardboard tube-fighting--Is anything really all that it is?
I could have taken one of two takes on this abomonable act I just commited against the holy name of Documentary Photography.
1. I just committed the ultimate sin. I am an isolationist and the truth ensues on its own. (EVEN THOUGH THIS DOES NOT ENTAIL FULL TRUTH, ASSHOLE!) But does that make truth more valid?
2. I showed the motion, sped up the process of what may have been inevitable, so I could photograph to fulfill the purpose of giving voice and contribution to the world in which I primarily exist, and satisfy the viewer with a little chunk of time to doctor and nurse. I did, as I should, interact with what I am photographing in the sense that I am an adult who possesses (I'd like to think) a consciousness about being good to other people while enjoying the necessary release of sport, as a good coach does.As a photographer, I completely reject the need to record exactly what is happening when you are not a part of it. We cannot avoid our own subjectivity. We are a part of this world, whethere we like it or not. If we are merely recording here for something else there, it is impossible for us to have any impact because we are not really present-anywhere! Even rockstars need homes. This world is a complete organism, and unduely sever ourselves from that organism is our biggest wrong. What are we trying to prove in this lifetime that it is so important to piggyback solely on the coattails of someone else's energy-because when you take and do not give, you are stealing people's hard earned energies. And I would rather give those people the benefit of the doubt that they actually earned those energies because the skillet can't call the kettle black.I think that I pray to the universe for the conviction to uphold many different (often conflicting) truths all at once; salivate for double-entendres.
As artists, aren't we just a bunch of relativists anyways-so if we give power to our negative intentions, they arise; if we give power to our positive intentions, they arise. As photographers, we are not obligated to name, we are only obligated to participate and frame, and if the frame is genuine, it will not confine to only mean one thing.
What does it mean to steal energy? What does it mean to be a selfish photographer? Was it selfish to covertly position events that I knew the inevitable outcome of, even though I saw a fit lesson in it all. What does it mean to be a mover in a relativist, go with the flow world? What does it mean to be a a solipsist, a pure subjectivist in regards to yours and everybody else experience, in a moving world?
Can we really control our own decisions in any other place but the instant. Before your words are coming out if your mouth you have complete potential to change your mind-until the words are said. During the time we speak, our mind is busy forming the syllables to experience live and up-to-the-minute updates from our heart and our guts, right? And after you say the words, they inevitably change the course of life and seem to rudely invalidate anything feeling, right? Unless we somehow magically integrate our gumption with our know-how with our vision. Unless our tongues are valves, ventricles and atriums all at once. Maybe then our decisions beacon more present existence when we are present to begin with.
As a generally perplexed, and often bitter photographer, I do have moments where I experience the intense privlege of simultaneously extending time into omniscience, assigning new meaning to it like a poet would, and participating in the best way that I know how, I realize how incredibly important and honestly good it can be to exist as a photographer. Perhaps this is why I am so drawn to music--it parallels what photography has the potential to be in its best light. The musicians are present in their interactions with one another and themselves within the act of music, just as the photographer is completely involved in her own world that only exist because there are subjects. And please don't lie to yourself, no one is ever oblivious to you and your fat ass fucking lens unless they aren't present and it isn't very fair to photograph someone without them being present because you aren't giving them a chance to interact in the glorious interaction that is about to take place. Unless its some funny ass candid camera shit and you know and love them well.
Sometimes we photograph in solitude just as sometimes musicians play alone. But there is still subject-a building, ourselves especially. But there is stillness and interaction with the present that often trumps the image made (although not always)--in which case, the image still serves the purpose as a humbler to viewers. And the music still comes out of the soul of the sax player, and he knows, and the concrete and blowing leaves and echoes in alleys know that in order to breathe, you have to take in everything that is in the air.
We have many conversations, these days, about the honest-to-god point of any of this art-making business. Mostly us musicians and photographers. Why on earth am I spending my time finishing these images if the best of it was consumed in the incessant photographing and photographer-subject interactions? Because I am obligated to follow the image through. See it to the last branch, where it seamlessly enters back into the universe. By not sharing these images, I am not holding up my part of the bargain--I am photographing to give voice, so I must amplify the sounds of these voices. I am photographing because you asked me to assist you in seeing. If I don't photograph in a way that i interact with the voice of the subject with my own, the sacred moment of photographing crumbles and so too does the image built on the empire/franchise of the moment. (I say franchise instead of further pursuing a long, exhausting conversation into the night about the cliche of the moment). Now look. And the univrse gives me everything I need if I am doing exactly what I need to be doing. I thank the universe further for the internet in order to assist me in this matter.
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